One common reason people often give for why they do not want to go to church is because they think Christians are hypocrites who put on masks and pretend everything is fine or they say one thing at church and then do the opposite the rest of the week. I honestly can’t say that is never the case, but it actually goes deeper than that most of the time.
When people usually think about going to church, they probably think of everyone being on their best behavior and pasting on smiles despite how their lives are actually going. And that stereotype is unfortunately supported by the worldly TV shows and movies that we watch. And from the outside looking in, that may be how it seems to people visiting a church.
Honestly, there can be a lot of pasting on a smile both inside and outside the church. When we randomly see people we know out and about, do we tell them about how we just lost someone close to us or how our friends are all getting married and having kids while we are still not getting asked out on a date? Or do we say that we are fine and just living life?
That kind of thing happens whether you are at church or not. A lot of times, what we say when someone asks how we are really depends on who is asking, who else is around, and the context of the conversation, right? If we run into an acquaintance at the grocery store, we will answer differently than when we are meeting a close friend for lunch.
Another aspect of the assumed hypocrisy that people talk about is that people act perfectly at church and then live extremely worldly lives the rest of the week. The sad thing is, that does actually happen. Usually those people are either claiming to be Christians but have no heart change, or they think that going to church every week is what will save them and that they can live however they want as long as they walk in the doors at church every Sunday.
On the other hand, we have actual Christ followers who have changed hearts and minds. In Romans 7:18-19, the apostle Paul says, “For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.” This shows the struggle between our fleshly desires and our spiritual desires and that the fleshly desires unfortunately win more often than we would like them to.
One more reason that many people avoid going to church, or may even try to avoid interacting with Christians, is that they believe that Christians are perfect and/or that Christians are judging them. As we saw in the passage above, we are definitely nowhere near perfect. We never will be perfect on this side of Heaven and that is a fact that we have to live with for the rest of our lives. Although we are being sanctified and perfected, that will not be completed until we are in the presence of God.
As for the accusation that Christians are judging them, it really depends on the person. This is another stereotype that is unfortunately encouraged by people who hold up those “doomsday” signs on the side of the road and the people who yell at people with different convictions than themselves “in the name of Jesus” or try to shove the gospel down people’s throats. Most of the people I have met who claim to be followers of Christ have not been judgmental of people who do not believe; in fact, they are usually the opposite: compassionate and loving. I can’t speak for each individual person who claims to know Christ (not all of whom actually have a relationship with Him), but in general, we want everyone to come to know, love, and trust in Him. We don’t usually want to shove the gospel down the throats of those who do not believe, but we do care about them and their souls. We want them to get to spend eternity in His presence instead of being eternally separated from Him.
If you have any questions about the gospel or if you have been avoiding church for these or other reasons, we would love to talk to you and help you find somewhere to get more answers about God and how much He loves you and wants a relationship with you. And remember, followers of Christ are humans, just like everyone else. We fail and make mistakes every day, but we know the One who is in charge and we are able to ask for His forgiveness just as often.
Abbi