We have great memories that bring us joy and nostalgia, and bad memories that bring us pain. We remember arguments, embarrassing moments, medical scares, and tumultuous moments that changed us. I’ve been struggling with this post because when you read this, Memorial Day will be over and everyone will be back to work. Then, I thought of something else I need to remember this time of year.
As I write this, tomorrow, May 23rd is my Aunt Erin’s birthday. This will be the first birthday when she won’t turn another year older or open birthday cards. This is the first year that we’ll honor her with our memories instead of our greetings. At 43, she left us too soon.
It’s even more sad for me because I started missing her even before she died. When she lived nearby, I really knew her, but when she moved up north, our relational distance grew with every mile. She was a sassy and sarcastic lady who battled more demons in one lifetime than anyone could imagine. She was the youngest of four and the spice of our family.
I don’t want to remember. I don’t want to remember how I felt when she died — I was working away from home, not able to help my family. I don’t want to remember how I clung to her jacket in a pile of clothes because I just wanted to have a piece of her.
I want to remember the way she could quote so many TV shows and movies by heart, the way she laughed, or how she was the best chef and loved her work. The problem is that sometimes the hard memories choke out the happy ones. It feels like crying is a whole lot easier than choosing to laugh. I’ve learned we need a heavy dose of both.
I’ve learned you cherish memories a whole lot more when they’re all you have left. I’ve learned that we should not only honor the things of the past with our memories but preserve the events of the present. Make those plans. Take those videos.
Whether it’s soldiers’ sacrifice for our freedom, a loved one who has passed away, or the moments that most influenced our character, there are a lot of important things worth remembering. Part of Memorial Day is remembering and mourning the lost soldiers who gave the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom. There will be some mourning with our remembrance, but there can also be joy in the brightest memories that bring light to our hearts.
The most important thing is that whether in memories that bring grief or joy, Jesus feels with us. “He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not” (Isaiah 53:3, ESV).
Every emotion we face, every rejection or loss we remember, Jesus has felt it too. He has redeemed our sufferings and given us access to the comfort and protection of Father God.
If all goes as planned, tomorrow we will gather as a family at a Mexican restaurant to remember my Aunt E. We will share laughs and memories over a table laden with warm, savory food. We will have our remembrance, knowing that there’s hope even after sorrow. Our memories live on, but past the ache of separation and loss on earth, we have the hope of no more tears or pain. We have hope of everlasting life with our Savior. Until then, we have our memories in the time capsule of our hearts.
Treasure them and thank God for them, because God is near in every moment that becomes a memory.
Katelyn