Conflict between friends is really hard! I get so anxious when I’m in conflict with anyone. It makes my heart race and my panic rise. Maybe it’s the recovering people-pleaser in me, or maybe it’s fear of doing something wrong or hurting someone I care about. No matter how you react to conflict, it’s no fun.
I’m new to this whole friendship thing and honestly, I’m new to conflict too. I normally bend over backwards to avoid conflict, but I’ve recently realized that conflict is inevitable between friends. You’re going to hurt your friend and your friend is going to hurt you. Hopefully, both will be unintentional, but it will happen. You’re going to disagree or be on opposite sides of an issue. No matter how the conflict starts, we have to deal with it.
Face it. Friends, That’s really and truly the only advice this conflict newbie has to offer. Don’t beat around the bush or avoid the subject. Don’t put it off thinking it’ll just go away on its own. They say time heals all wounds, but time needs help from God, and a little courage and vulnerability on our part. You have to face your friend and your conflict head-on in order to move past it.
If you were wrong, look your friend right in the eye with true remorse and sincerity and apologize. If you’ve been hurt, sit across the table from your friend and gently explain how they hurt you. Agree to disagree and put your friendship above your opinions if at all possible. It’s healthy to discuss, and it’s alright to disagree, as long as your love for that person comes first.
Reach out with love, humility, and lots of prayer. I give you this advice not as a person pointing a finger, but as a fellow friend walking through the heat of conflict right alongside you. I’m sharing what I’ve learned from my friendship failures in the hope that it’ll help you in your friendships. I pray that above all else, we will walk out every aspect of our friendships in Christian love and care toward one another.
“I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” — Ephesians 4:1–3
Katelyn