Do you celebrate Valentine’s Day? Do you like Valentine’s Day?

I’ve never really celebrated Valentine’s Day, except for back in elementary school when you would decorate those shoeboxes and put in those little Valentine’s Day cards with sweetarts taped to them in your classmates’ boxes. In college and adulthood, I never had a boyfriend or a guy to send me flowers on Valentine’s Day. So instead I focused on Galentine’s Day – where ladies celebrate ladies as fictional Councilwoman Leslie Knope would say. Yes, I like to watch Parks & Rec and credit the show for keeping me sane during graduate school.

When Leslie Knope explained what Galentine’s was, it was simply that. Ladies celebrate other ladies. Last month, I had a girls’ night with some girl friends and as we talked, our conversation turned into boys. One of them was dating and made the comment of how her boyfriend knew she needed to have these nights, nights where she is with girl friends and having a chilled night.

I like that.

I’ve never been in love before.

There, I said it.

You are probably thinking, oh great. What does Elizabeth have to know about love? Why is she writing about romantic love?

I may not have been in love before, but I have seen romantic love. I’ve seen my grandpa look at my grandmother, share about the day he first met her, and the look he gave was as if it were the first day he saw her. I heard of my grandma trying to convince my granddad to go to Tanzania when she went to the hospital and he just shook his head. I noticed when my father drove 8-9 straight hours to be with my mother when my grandmother (her mother) passed away.

Each of those men loved their respective wife. They each let their wife do their own thing too. They each loved their wife in their own way, but all had something in common.

Last week, we talked about God is love and how everything goes back to him. We love Him, because He first loved us. (1 John 4:19).

Both my grandfathers and my father love my grandmothers and mother. But each one of them also loved God. In Ephesians 5, Paul wrote instructions for husbands and wives. Did you know that the husband’s instruction is twice as long as the wife’s? It is because marriage is a reflection of the relationship between Christ and the Church. The husband symbolizes Christ and the wife symbolizes the Church. The husband is to love the wife as Christ love the Church (us). Didn’t Katelyn mention how Christ died for us? Christ laid down his life, allowed himself to be whipped and bruised and killed for our debt.

That’s a lot to live up to.

I should say, it is a lot to live up to but remember men are not God nor Christ. They are to love and to serve their wife, but they are fallible humans. Just as we, women, are fallible. Don’t get me wrong, we should want a man to treat us well and treat us like princesses. I consider myself lucky to have my grandfathers and my father. But I am trying not to hold them up on a pedestal.  Right before, my grandpa died, he was relearning how to walk. My mother texted that when he took his first step, he glanced up at my grandmother, smiled, and gave a thumbs up. Immediately I laughed and said, “Oh, Grandpa! You raised the bar!”

Then I thought about that.

Did he raise the bar? Honestly, it sounded like Grandpa just loved Grandmother. It sounded like he wanted to encourage his wife, because he loved her. He did not make a show of himself walking, he did not practice walking privately just so he can surprise. He just took a step, a simple step, and smiled at her. He included Grandmother in his victories, no matter how small or not. Just like how Granddad postponed his mission trip when Grandma fell ill, he did not announce nor asked for praise, he did so because he saw that his wife needed him. Or, Dad. Dad could’ve said “well, my wife is okay. She has her sisters and our daughter there.” He could have posted about it later and said, I drove 8-9 hours to be with my wife. I don’t think he has told anyone, but now I’m telling you. He did so, because he loved my mom.

Because isn’t that Christ’s love for us?

Christ lived a perfect life on this earth, one without blemish or sin. But he took our sin upon his own life and died on the cross so that we can have eternal life. (John 3:16) He did so, simply because he loved us.

It would be too much pressure to expect my grandfathers and father to act like Jesus completely, much alone for my future husband to do the same. But through my grandfathers and father’s actions, I can count on a man to just love me. A man does not have to lay down his life for me or rescue me from my sins – that’s job has been taken already by Jesus.

I hope one day I fall in love. The guy does not need to take me to fancy balls in fancy castles. He does not need to take me to dinner and then a horse-drawn carriage around Central Park. He simply needs to love me and look at me like he did the moment he fell in love with me. Maybe this is idealized, maybe one day if that day happens. I will look back on this post with a blush or an eye roll, but right now, I am content. I am content knowing that I have God’s love firmly rooted in my life and I know I will be okay if I don’t ever fall in love.

If you have a Valentine’s date, tell him that you love him and tell him how much you appreciate him. He might not hear that enough. Furthermore, tell God that you love and appreciate God. I know I don’t always do that.

If you don’t have a Valentine’s date, that’s okay. Buy yourself some chocolates and take yourself out on a me-date. Tell God that you love and appreciate him. Am I being corny?

Regardless – Galentine’s Day. Maintaining your friend relationships are important in dating and in marriage. Call up or text your girl friends, both married and single, on February 13th and say: “Thanks for being there.”

Thanks for being there,

Elizabeth