Do you like change? Or do you try to resist it as much as possible? Change can be good. Change can be bad. Change can have some good elements and some bad elements. We can decide to change or have change forced on us. Every instance of change is different, how ironic is that!

I am such a fan of having a routine and knowing what to expect, whether at work or even just having the same work hours every week. At previous jobs, when I would have a different schedule almost every week, it was hard to make plans with friends more than a few days in advance and my time off requests would not get approved until about a week before. Talk about hard to plan anything! That kind of change was no fun for me.

One kind of change that I did like was when I took dance classes when I was younger. I was always happy when I was told I could move up to the next level class, take class from a new teacher, learn challenging choreography, or when we would get new shirts or dresses to wear with our base outfits for a performance after having worn the same ones for years before that.

Last week, we talked about reflecting on the last year and looking forward to the coming year. New years come with change, whether we want them to or not. They bring new opportunities and fresh starts. What we did the year before is in the past. When I think of change, I think of the seasons of the year. Some seasons, while fun in their own way, are preparing for the following season. Fall prepares for Winter, leaves fall from the trees and the weather starts cooling down. Spring prepares for Summer, flowers start blooming and the weather starts warming up. The same thing can often be said for change in our own lives. It can prepare us for more changes to come. It can also teach us about ourselves and how we react in certain situations.

One more example of a change that prepares us for more change is dating. When you date someone, you learn about yourself and the other person and determine if this is the person you want to marry one day. Different people have different ideas on how long is the right amount of time to date someone before getting married. One opinion is that you should date through multiple seasons, both figuratively and literally. In the figurative sense, you can see how the other person reacts in different seasons of life and different situations. In the literal sense, I have read that people should date for a whole year before getting engaged to see how the other person acts in all seasons of the year. I am not sure how I feel about that literal part, but the figurative part makes sense because it gives both people a chance to see how the other person reacts to change and processes the unexpected.

The past few months have contained quite a bit of unexpected change for me, some heartbreaking and tragic, some beyond exciting and life giving. It has been a lot to process. It has taught me a lot about myself and how I react to these changes I have never gone through before, and at the same time, I have also learned about other people in my life. I have learned who I can talk to when I need to just talk through things. I have learned who is eager to give advice. I have learned who to get together with if I need to be distracted from everything going through my mind. I have learned who will ask me what I need prayer for and who will just say that they are praying for what I just shared. I have learned who will ask questions and who will just take the information I give. I have learned who I can trust and who I can’t trust. I have also learned about what some of my friends have gone through and been able to help them process changes in their own lives.

I hope that you have family and/or friends who will be there for you when you are going through changes in your life. Whether they are hundreds of miles away (like Elizabeth and Katelyn are for me), just down the street, or just down the hallway, supportive family and friends have the ability to make hard changes a little easier and fun changes even more fun.

One last thing I want to leave you with on this topic is that it is perfectly fine to cry when you are in the middle of change or trying to process a recent change. If you are like me, it can be easy to tell yourself not to cry, but if we bottle it up inside, it is going to find another way to come out. And does telling yourself not to cry really work anyway? However you process it, change is change. Things will be different and it may take some time to get used to it. There is no right or wrong way to process change. Like I said last week, we can give ourselves grace.

Abbi