The worldly definition of gentleness is synonymous to calm, kind, and soft. But Biblically, you would find these words: humility, meekness, and compassion. I prefer the Biblical words. They have more dimension to them.

Gentleness is not just being kind or soft. Gentleness has a quiet strength to it and a soft edge to it, ready to correct out of love and not in spite. Gentleness has humility, an act of kindness that puts others’ needs in front of your own. Gentleness has meekness, exuding calmness as the person shows patience and forbearance to others. Gentleness has compassion, a soft approach in correcting others and doing so with no agenda, except you want the person to grow in a healthy and safe manner.

Today, we are going to focus in James. A book that is only five chapters long, but is full of good and hard truths. Truths about the good and the damage that our small tongue can do. But before we begin, I am going to start off with an excerpt of a poem that I had written:

His tongue was quick and sharp
But there was a gentleness to it.
Her tongue was quiet and soft
But there was a fierceness to it.
His tongue was ready to be divisive
But there was humility to it.
Her tongue was meek and calm
But there was a tone of a mama’s rebuke.

I wrote the poem after hearing a sermon over James 3:1-12. Then after reading the entire book of James, I cleaned up the rough edges of it. The poem was about my grandparents and how they spoke. I focused on words that contradicted each other, descriptions people would ordinarily think did not go together. Does a sharp tongue really have gentleness to it? Or a quiet and soft tongue have a fierceness? Surely not a tongue that divides can be humble? Or can a mama’s calming and soothing tongue truly rebuke?

But it can.

James 1 – James began with an advice to have trials in joy. Stating how trials test faith, which produces patience, which produces character. James also explicitly states how we cannot be tempted by God because God cannot be tempted by evil and He cannot tempt anyone. James included qualities to have: swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger. Qualities of a doer and not just a hearer. A hearer “is like a man observing his natural face in a mirror; for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was (James 1:23-24).” A doer “looks into the prefect law of liberty and continues in it, and is not a forgetful hearer but a doer of ht work, this one will be blessed in what he does (James 1:25).”

James 2 – James brings up faith without works. I do not know about you, but that is hard for me to wrap my head around. I grew up learning that what separates Christianity from other religions is that it is a faith-based religion, all we need to do is have faith. As I studied James 2, I started to take notes and this is what I wrote: Christianity is faith-based, not work-based but faith and work still co-exist. It is like doers and hearers. If you only have faith, you are a hearer. But if you only have works, you are trying to achieve something w/o the faithfulness of God. Faith gives our action purpose, it what drives us in doing what we do.

James 3 – Alright, it is bridled tongue! In verse 5, James wrote, “Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles.” The tongue is a small part of the body, but its effect can be magnified. It can be so great that James compared it to starting a forest fire. In college, I worked at summer camp in New Mexico which is in the desert and as such gets frequent forest fires in the dry, hot summers. Thus, it was not uncommon to be on a fire ban, because all it took is one match, one unattended camp fire, for a great forest fire to start.

Our tongues can cause destruction.

Yet, in perfect duality (I bet English teachers love James and his duality), the tongue can build up and can exhort.

I once found this illustration. It was a picture of a cup of coffee. The caption asked what would spill if you were to bump into someone hold the cup of coffee. The answer would be coffee, of course. It would not be tea or coke or water. It would be coffee. That’s the same thing as our words. When someone bumps into us, what spills out? Is it rebuke? Is it a sharp tongue? Is it kindness? Is it love? Whatever comes out of your mouth is a reflection of your heart.

Our words should come from God. When someone bumps into us or says something to us, we should exhibit the qualities of swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger, and people should notice it. Verse 17 states, “But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy.” Did you noticed something? I see three fruits of the Spirit (peace, gentleness, patience (willing to yield)) and one of them is gentleness. “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation of shadow of turning. Of His own will He brought forth by the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of His creatures (James 1:18). God is nothing but good. God is peace, gentle, patient, and merciful, and because of His Word, we have access to those same qualities. We can be a reflection of God when we dig deeper into the Word.

James 4-5 – James ended his letter with how war and strife begins within. But humility can cure it. He, also, advised to wait patiently for the fruits of your trials. If you are suffering, to pray. If you are cheerful, to sing psalms. If in sickness, call upon the elders and lay hands. To also confess your trespasses to the Lord. To end this the way I began, let’s go back to the poem with a refreshed look.

His quick and sharp tongue brought gentleness,
Caring for the person’s spiritual and emotional needs above all.
Her quiet and soft tongue brought fierceness,
Standing up for the oppressed.
His tongue readied with divisiveness brought compassion,
Never thought ill of anyone in disagreements.
Her meek and calm tongue brought rebuke,
A loving, maternal rebuke to watch growth happen.

My prayer for you, friend, is that this week you’ll pray and ask God to bridled your tongue. May your words be a reflection of God’s gentleness.
Elizabeth