For this week, I wanted to write about the joy that comes from living authentically the life that God has called you to live, my personal journey to developing my own unique, authentic, whimsical life, and the joy I’ve gotten from the Lord in the process. All great things, right? But part of being authentic is being honest, so I have to tell you I’m not feeling much joy right now. My mental and physical health, my spiritual life, trying to figure out my plans for the near future, combined with the exhaustion that comes from urban ministry at summer camp, have left me feeling more depleted and empty than joyful. So, here’s a question: Does our joy depend on the Lord or on how tough our current circumstances are? Of course, you’d probably say our joy comes from God, but sometimes when real life hits, it’s really hard to remember that our joy comes from God and not the hard things going on around us.

Here’s another one: Can we be joyful even when we don’t feel joy? Is joy just a feeling or a choice too? Even though I don’t feel joyful right now, I can still find joy in everything God is doing in my life. Even though my body and mind feel heavy, I can still take joy in sitting with my Father, hearing His voice, and reading His word.

On Tuesday, I realized I hadn’t spent much time really sitting with the Lord lately, so I made time after camp to just sit down and read my Bible. Hours later, after talking to God and reading bigger chunks of the Old and New Testaments than I’d read in a long time, I rediscovered my love for the Bible and the joy that comes from spending time with God.

At work on Wednesday, when I was having a really hard moment, I tried to break my mind free from the pity party I was having by sitting down with my worship music. Even though my heart was heavy and I was on the verge of tears for the third time this week, I felt God say to me, “Daughter, I’m proud of you! I love you!” Wow! That was a powerful reminder and a fresh source of joy when I really needed it. I don’t always sit with God in those hard moments and give Him time to encourage and comfort me, but when I felt like a failure, I was so glad to hear my Father tell me He’s proud of me.

Friends, brothers and sisters in the Lord, if you feel tired and overwhelmed today and joy is the last thing on your minds, let your Heavenly Father fill your cup and refresh your souls. Cry those tears and feel that heartbreak, but then remember that God is with you every minute. The Living Water, the breath of Heaven, is ready to give you joy in His presence.

“You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy, that I might sing praises to you and not be silent. Oh Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever.” Psalm 30:11-12

Katelyn